Lost track of days

I think I have found my tribe. My people.
They are all escapees from the mundane just north of here.
And if you ask any of them why they are here, they ALL answer "We fell in love with the nice people who live here."
Bet you thought it was because they live in a warm and sunny location. Not so my friends.....sure it's a fantastic perk and all, but this island has so much more. And the biggest draw is it's friendly, kind, polite, happy, helpful people.....who love to party!!!
Every where we have gone, the people who call Key West their home, go out of their way to be awesome human beings.....it could be that they are just happy living in paradise, but it's like they "get it". And I get them.....
(I also think that many of them once resided in Woodstock and migrated.)
Last night we went to watch the sun set in the western sky.....they have an entire town square called Mallory Square, dedicated to this nightly celebration...do you see the simplicity of their happiness? For hours preceding the suns desent into the ocean, thousands of people converge on the square for the festivities, which consist of jugglers, acrobats, silver coated statued marines that call out at you and scare the crap out of you and tarot card readers....anything and everything.....EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!!!
Of course you are surrounded by bars....and so we went over to grab a cocktail and headed back to the edge of the wharf to watch an 18 year old kid on top of a 8 rung ladder, being a comedian while balancing up there and juggling 5 on-fire batons...his story is that his parents moved him down there as a child and he is now going to put himself through college doing his street act....I told him afterwards I really appreciated his imaginative hard work to raise money for himself.
After the sun set, we edged back to into the square and listened to a salsa band...no dancing here since my man's feet were killing him so we sat and watched two 80 some year old couples bust a move.....white geriatric shoes and all!!!!! I gave them a standing ovation.
Earlier in the day, we hung out in our tiki hut and I went swimming multiple times....I managed to get Treb in there once. He is not a big fan of salt water because it makes his dry eyes even worse. Thank god for Restatsis!
The wind finally died down so the ocean is calm and the girls can see all the fish under the dock...we have a zebra fish couple that comes out repeatedly to peak at Chloe who is hanging over the edge watching them furtively. Chanel keeps to the edge of the water looking for geckos and salamanders. They still are convinced that the entire coast line is their domain and charge after anyone who dares wander near us.....so I took the red tie out leash and attached them to each other.....yesterday Chanel sounded the alarm, Chloe stood up on the couch she was sleeping on and Chanel took off and 2 seconds later Chloe flew through the air, being yanked off by Chanel.....it was mean but I couldn't stop laughing.
Tonight we are going back down for one more sunset and one more phenomenal meal (did I mention that my tribe has many chef's in it?) before we pull out of here tomorrow morning for the 5 day trip back up to NY....I will miss my people and their paradise but I will return in December, most definitely!!

DAY.....6??

"Key Largo, Montego.....baby, why don't we go..."......I was ready to head to the keys by 9 a.m.--a first for me, but I wanted sand and clear blue water. Of course the jig saw puzzle that is known as Disney continued as we wound our way out in search of diesel fuel. We were on E and showing 9 percent left in the tank. I was pretty sure that by the time we made it out of the maze, I'd be on E, trying to wave down a "cast member" of Mickey's to save us. (Not employee's--cast members)
But we found the station, filled up and floored it towards the bottom of the country. Well, I made it to 75 MPH most of the way down the Florida Turnpike...nice road but have to stop every 10 miles to give them a dollar....going to locate the SunPass before I head back up that.....having to slow down and wedge the beast through the toll both is tedious at best.
Once we got on the turnpike, the fun began....splat, splat, double splat....then the sound of rain. But no, it wasn't really rain, it was large flies mating with smaller flies flying into my windshield--to the point that I couldn't keep my windshield clear with the wipers and tons of fluid. Then I ran out....but we were traveling somewhere in swampland USA and there weren't any pull of towns...at all. So I am wiping these things off dry; smearing their bodies into the glass and trying like hell to stay on the road. People all around us were pulling off to clear their shields but my vehicle being a bit too big for the berm, had to keep going with my hazards on, praying for an exit.
After another 20 miles, I kid you not, I finally found a podunck town who clearly makes its fortune on windshiled wiper fluid.....luckily for us it was a truck stop too and they had hoses with sprayers and long squeegees to reach our windows....the trucker next to us took one look at our rig and started belly laughing....I got out with the camera and I had half an inch of solid black bugs attached to the front of my beautiful beast. As I walked I was sinking into bug death...just disgusting. When we left, we hit another pod of them and then we were cleared...Bert stocked up on a few bottles for the trip back.
When we finally made it to the bottom of Florida and got on Route 1 South, I was seriously excited....I wasn't jumping up and down about all the bridges but I had made it over the other monster bridges, so I could do these. (I am petrified of high bridges.....) As we cruised along, red lights kept going on ahead of me....then we stopped. For awhile. Then a few cars were turning around on the road and going back. Then they were leaving en masse. So I parked the beast and got to use the bathroom....ANOTHER huge power point here!!! No rest stop bathrooms for me!! All you need is a good traffic jam!
I even got to make myself a sandwich afterwards....and then we started moving and managed to get over the bridge (which was high) without hyper ventilating. We had our latest list of things we needed so we went in search of the local grocery plaza. Which is rare here. If you want to go diving here, your all set.....every other store is a dive store...diving and boats, diving and boulders for sale, diving and shack that sells food. Did I mention it's the diving capital of the world??
Oh here we go, Publix grocery store (which is alot like Price Chopper), but they sell wine too!!! SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it's the first thing you come to in the store so obviously they have their priorities set right! I ran into the store after parking the beast in the back and Treb walked the babies.
Pulling out, the GPS lady tells us the campground is 200 feet away...yeah, sure. Trying to get us lost again...but she was right-for once and we looked down the road and there it was!! Our site was right on the water, and I backed her in again, just missing the ladies house in front of our site. We had a tiki hut and a dock--all to ourselves!!! Yes, we made it to Paradise!!
Time to find the gin--It's Martini time!!!!!

Day 3 and 4

Pulled out of Jacksonville around noon……took our time this morning…..the dogs and I went out on our own initially and then we went back to fetch the dad. He promised that he would try to walk each morning because they claim it’s what’s best for him overall…..that and water massage which he is starting when we get back. Paula is going to use him as her guinea pig. (He doesn’t know this yet..)
The campground here claims to be one of the best in the US….they have it all, including a giant lake and a beach…..palm trees everywhere and perfectly groomed landscapes….they also have a café and my favorite part was that they delivered..TO THE CAMPER!!!!! We called and ordered wings and 2 large salads—total came to 18.00---dinner for two under 20??? How is that possible?
This campground had a ton of year-rounders….they had portable gardens and handmade staircases with beautiful woodwork—but my favorite was the guy who built a garage for his motor home and then a side building as well…..very clever.
The roads in the south are so nice and smooth…..no more bam BAM..bam bam bam….BAM. Avoiding pot holes is no easy task in a 39 foot beast but I was becoming a pro—but one false move, no thanks.
The kids have completely adjusted to life on the road…..within minutes of us pulling out of here today, Chloe is in Bert’s lap and Chanel is in her puppy bed next to me on the floor. They seem to have gotten over all the noise connected to the motor home moving.
After a quick 200 miles, we arrived in Disney….all I can say is “Holy Crow!”….what a place!!! The drama-the fantasy---it’s just mind-boggling….our campground is called Fort Wilderness and it’s definitely off the beaten path in the woods. Every site is perfectly groomed, super clean—the foliage is so tropical…I want some of these plants in my yard..shame they’d freeze to death. It’s a fantastic campground except for two things….NO WiFi at the site (seriously folks…if you can create this masterpiece, you can figure out how to get freaking internet to the campsites!! All the other campgrounds had it!!! And there are no pull thru’s…I had to back the beast into a narrow parking slip!!!…but thanks to Zane once again, I managed to move 39 feet of steel into a 30 foot wide slip and didn’t mow over any plants…he’d have been proud.
As soon as we set the leveling feet on the camper, we pulled out the outdoor rug and chairs since we weren’t leaving here the very next day…we were thrilled to be able to finally use our ‘Redneck Outdoor Stereo’…..I broke out the wine and nuts…..and our uninvited guests arrived…..within 20 minutes Bert was bleeding from multiple sites on his calves. Everything at Disney is big….including their horse flies!!! And the mystery of why no one was sitting outside their camper was now apparent.
We rented a golf cart for our 2 and a half days here, which was a blessing in that the flies couldn’t catch us at 20 MPH……we took the dogs on it which they loved and barked at each passing motorist.
Night one, we dined at the Wilderness Lodge and had by far the most delcicious salmon from the Northwest…..and a lot of wine….and then a coffee drink….and then somehow, someone talked the waiter into giving her cognac….good thing the bus driver knew where I lived…J

DAY 1

Our first day on the road of course coincided with the first busy day of the season for me....saw that one coming like a freight train......luckily, Jennie was there to take off some of the heat......reluctantly, I left my office with my laptop, files, notepads (3 of them) and my handy notebook that Jennie forced me to make for myself and now, I don't know how I lived without it.
Packing for this trip was so very simple....we each took a clothes basket and flung clothes into it. i chuckled to myself that another beautiful thing about "camping" was taking our world with us and no TSA people going through my clothes or tossing out my recently purchased toiletries because the label said there was more than 3 ounces in it. Don't get me wrong--I understand they have an important job to do but let's use some common sense....I won't be hurting anyone with my hair gel.
We kissed Cameron good-bye and threatened his life with the list of rules.....he claimed he can handle it all....I pray I trained him right.
Off we went with puppies in tow.....leaving behind the two big girls for this maiden voyage......it was just going to be too much the first time out.
I inched down the drive and our road at about 5 MPH.....I managed 15 MPH as we passed the grocery store....and then my first asshole of the day--he cuts in front of me just as I try to make it to 20 he shoots out of the drug store in front of me. Bert and Chloe nearly went through the front window as I slammed on the brakes.
I crawled along, desperately checking my mirrors to be sure that I had the beast lined up right between the yellow and white lines....so worried that I'd either drive it into a ditch or hit an oncoming car. I vowed I would never pass a car or make it past 60....MPH that is.
By the time I got on the highway I was feeling a bit calmer......I had found that the shadows formed by the window defogging fans, lined up perfectly between the lines on the highway and kept me where I needed to be...then the sun went away. I freaked for a few moments but realized I finally knew what i was doing without the shadows guiding me.
Bert had to learn to walk around in the camperwhile I drove....he obviously never did bus surfing as a kid. He had decided he wanted to get Sirius satellite set up as we drove but needed to find the VIN number for them.....as he was reaching up into the cabinet, a huge orange truck nearly ran me off the road and Bert went flying. (Memo to self---ice packs in freezer...)
Our first destination was Maryland.....Bert had made a folder with our intinerary provided to us by Good Sam which is the RV club/insurance company that many campers use.....and we had our GPS on the cell phone..thankfully.
We were an hour away and still had not stopped for food...Bert refused to make it back to the fridge after being tossed onto the couch earlier. The itinerary said go east on 40......then 3.8 miles. After at least 5 miles, and the chick on the GPS yelling "make a legal U-turn at the next safest place" over and over--I pulled off....into a residential area. I was sure we were screwed thinking how was I going to turn this rig around?? But something made me turn right and we landed in an abandoned restaurant parking lot at the end of the road and I managed to find my way back on the road...going west.....
It was so very dark when we arrived and I happily ran into the office for our site assigment...only to be greated by a giant cut out of Obama smiling at me with his hand outstretched to shake mine--I screamed....they looked at me funny so I kept my Obama-hating mouth shut for once.
The directions to the site seemed simple enough and we headed to our loop. Twice we went around the loop. No 713 to be found. On the third go around, I stopped where it said 604 but on my goddamn map it said it should be 713....."excuse me sir" I said to the man in the next site. "I am trying to find 713." "Well this is 604 here" he replied pointing at the obvious. "Yes, but my map here says it should be 713" as I held it in front of the right headlight. "Well, I'll be damned--it does say that. But it's 604." Thankfully, a woman appears in the dark and says "This is 713. If you come in the other way, it will be 713 and this side is 604." I said, "What? On reverse day?" And my new friend, the man, replies "Oh, is it reverse day?"--dead serious.
But the beauty of this insane site was I would have to go around-again-and then back up and then pull forward--in order to be able to hook up the electric and the poop dumping hose.....
and so, I did. I thanked my father over and over for making me a pro at backing up in tight situations by lining up the wheels on the edge of the pavment, while I hung out the window listening to this man yell directions to me.
As soon as they yelled "YOUR IN-PERFECT!!!" I put on the parking brake and headed for the fridge and my perfectly chilled wine....and thank god for screw caps because I had no further patience left on this day.