"Key Largo, Montego.....baby, why don't we go..."......I was ready to head to the keys by 9 a.m.--a first for me, but I wanted sand and clear blue water. Of course the jig saw puzzle that is known as Disney continued as we wound our way out in search of diesel fuel. We were on E and showing 9 percent left in the tank. I was pretty sure that by the time we made it out of the maze, I'd be on E, trying to wave down a "cast member" of Mickey's to save us. (Not employee's--cast members)
But we found the station, filled up and floored it towards the bottom of the country. Well, I made it to 75 MPH most of the way down the Florida Turnpike...nice road but have to stop every 10 miles to give them a dollar....going to locate the SunPass before I head back up that.....having to slow down and wedge the beast through the toll both is tedious at best.
Once we got on the turnpike, the fun began....splat, splat, double splat....then the sound of rain. But no, it wasn't really rain, it was large flies mating with smaller flies flying into my windshield--to the point that I couldn't keep my windshield clear with the wipers and tons of fluid. Then I ran out....but we were traveling somewhere in swampland USA and there weren't any pull of towns...at all. So I am wiping these things off dry; smearing their bodies into the glass and trying like hell to stay on the road. People all around us were pulling off to clear their shields but my vehicle being a bit too big for the berm, had to keep going with my hazards on, praying for an exit.
After another 20 miles, I kid you not, I finally found a podunck town who clearly makes its fortune on windshiled wiper fluid.....luckily for us it was a truck stop too and they had hoses with sprayers and long squeegees to reach our windows....the trucker next to us took one look at our rig and started belly laughing....I got out with the camera and I had half an inch of solid black bugs attached to the front of my beautiful beast. As I walked I was sinking into bug death...just disgusting. When we left, we hit another pod of them and then we were cleared...Bert stocked up on a few bottles for the trip back.
When we finally made it to the bottom of Florida and got on Route 1 South, I was seriously excited....I wasn't jumping up and down about all the bridges but I had made it over the other monster bridges, so I could do these. (I am petrified of high bridges.....) As we cruised along, red lights kept going on ahead of me....then we stopped. For awhile. Then a few cars were turning around on the road and going back. Then they were leaving en masse. So I parked the beast and got to use the bathroom....ANOTHER huge power point here!!! No rest stop bathrooms for me!! All you need is a good traffic jam!
I even got to make myself a sandwich afterwards....and then we started moving and managed to get over the bridge (which was high) without hyper ventilating. We had our latest list of things we needed so we went in search of the local grocery plaza. Which is rare here. If you want to go diving here, your all set.....every other store is a dive store...diving and boats, diving and boulders for sale, diving and shack that sells food. Did I mention it's the diving capital of the world??
Oh here we go, Publix grocery store (which is alot like Price Chopper), but they sell wine too!!! SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it's the first thing you come to in the store so obviously they have their priorities set right! I ran into the store after parking the beast in the back and Treb walked the babies.
Pulling out, the GPS lady tells us the campground is 200 feet away...yeah, sure. Trying to get us lost again...but she was right-for once and we looked down the road and there it was!! Our site was right on the water, and I backed her in again, just missing the ladies house in front of our site. We had a tiki hut and a dock--all to ourselves!!! Yes, we made it to Paradise!!
Time to find the gin--It's Martini time!!!!!
But we found the station, filled up and floored it towards the bottom of the country. Well, I made it to 75 MPH most of the way down the Florida Turnpike...nice road but have to stop every 10 miles to give them a dollar....going to locate the SunPass before I head back up that.....having to slow down and wedge the beast through the toll both is tedious at best.
Once we got on the turnpike, the fun began....splat, splat, double splat....then the sound of rain. But no, it wasn't really rain, it was large flies mating with smaller flies flying into my windshield--to the point that I couldn't keep my windshield clear with the wipers and tons of fluid. Then I ran out....but we were traveling somewhere in swampland USA and there weren't any pull of towns...at all. So I am wiping these things off dry; smearing their bodies into the glass and trying like hell to stay on the road. People all around us were pulling off to clear their shields but my vehicle being a bit too big for the berm, had to keep going with my hazards on, praying for an exit.
After another 20 miles, I kid you not, I finally found a podunck town who clearly makes its fortune on windshiled wiper fluid.....luckily for us it was a truck stop too and they had hoses with sprayers and long squeegees to reach our windows....the trucker next to us took one look at our rig and started belly laughing....I got out with the camera and I had half an inch of solid black bugs attached to the front of my beautiful beast. As I walked I was sinking into bug death...just disgusting. When we left, we hit another pod of them and then we were cleared...Bert stocked up on a few bottles for the trip back.
When we finally made it to the bottom of Florida and got on Route 1 South, I was seriously excited....I wasn't jumping up and down about all the bridges but I had made it over the other monster bridges, so I could do these. (I am petrified of high bridges.....) As we cruised along, red lights kept going on ahead of me....then we stopped. For awhile. Then a few cars were turning around on the road and going back. Then they were leaving en masse. So I parked the beast and got to use the bathroom....ANOTHER huge power point here!!! No rest stop bathrooms for me!! All you need is a good traffic jam!
I even got to make myself a sandwich afterwards....and then we started moving and managed to get over the bridge (which was high) without hyper ventilating. We had our latest list of things we needed so we went in search of the local grocery plaza. Which is rare here. If you want to go diving here, your all set.....every other store is a dive store...diving and boats, diving and boulders for sale, diving and shack that sells food. Did I mention it's the diving capital of the world??
Oh here we go, Publix grocery store (which is alot like Price Chopper), but they sell wine too!!! SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it's the first thing you come to in the store so obviously they have their priorities set right! I ran into the store after parking the beast in the back and Treb walked the babies.
Pulling out, the GPS lady tells us the campground is 200 feet away...yeah, sure. Trying to get us lost again...but she was right-for once and we looked down the road and there it was!! Our site was right on the water, and I backed her in again, just missing the ladies house in front of our site. We had a tiki hut and a dock--all to ourselves!!! Yes, we made it to Paradise!!
Time to find the gin--It's Martini time!!!!!
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